Clone update medicals

I dislike clone update medical checkups.

I know having regular checks is really good, but they are still a reminder of something I would rather not think about.

Cheery and upbeat

That's me.

Coping with capsuleer life

After some thought, I've decided to slightly rephrase and blog something I posted in a corporate internal discussion.

I will share two other things that have helped me much over the years, when I have struggled with what I have become. Maybe they will help you too.

The first, from Theron Gyrow, is that morality is a choice, not a destiny. I have free will. Even if I have thoughts and feelings I would rather not have does not mean I have to let them dictate how I act.

The second, from Elsebeth Rhiannon, is that while we have been made into weapons, we can choose how we will be used. I have great power. Many might wish to make my choices for me, but I am the one who chooses which causes I serve.

I find myself returning to these truths over and over again.

It can sometimes be tempting to abdicate responsibility, to pretend to be driftwood pushed along by evil fate.

Fake windows

My apartment has a fake window in the dining area.

A holo of space. I change the view now and then, to match my mood, furnishings and also for variety.

It used to show Matar in the past months, the swirling clouds and the planet slowly rotating on it's axis. But that started to feel a bit moody so now it is back to Nakugard sky. I love the colours.

Making it show a regular planetside view just does not feel right.

Talking and not talking

Sometimes, talking about stuff helps. Clears the mind, makes the unknown something you can grasp and make peace with.

And sometimes, talking does not help at all. It makes your life about what happened, lets your thoughts turn around in what is now, and makes it more difficult to find a way forward.

Negotiating marriage contracts yourself?

Negotiating your marriage contract yourself might sound like a good idea, until you comprehend all the legal expertise and wrangling of different interests that goes into one.

I mean, do you really want to spend your pre-marriage honeymoon time haggling with your sweetie over how your common property might be divided after a death or divorce?

Or would it be much nicer if you knew Somebody Else with your best interests at heart will sort out an advantageous deal for you?

This is something I believe us Matari do better than the Gallente.

Ship fit availability

All too often, when I need a ship with a specific fit, I do not have one. Or if I do, the fit is somehow out of date or missing something.

At times like this, making a list of stuff I want to have fitted and ready at all times sounds like a very good idea. At other times, I suspect it would be a very long list, exhausting to actually implement.